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Jokes:

1. did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated arrr!
   
2. why are pirates, pirates...because they arrrr!

3. How much does a pirate pay for his earrings?...a Buccaneer!
4. Where do Pirates keep thieir Buccaneers?....Under there Buccanhat!
5. A guy walks into a bar and sees a pirate. He says "I see you lost and arm and an eye, how'd that happen?"
The pirate answers " I lost me arm in a sword fight and cut me arm off and had to use this hook. I lost me eye one day when I looked at the sky and a bird pooped in me eye but ye see it was me first day with the me hook!"
6. A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his fly. The bartender says "What's the steering wheel for?" The pirate says "Arrrr....it's driving me nuts!"
7. Wot did the blonde female captain do when she gots herself cold?...She sat by the candle...But wot did she do when she wos shiverin' her timbers off?...She lights the bloody candle!! Haharrg!!

A Humorous Pirate Story from the Life o Annie Cook

After there be a maelstrom, me pirate captain, him be marooned on a deserted island. As him explore the desolate place, him did see there be no animal a'livin on that island. There be plenty o fresh water, an many a coconut tree a'droppin fruit all over the place, an fish a'swimmin in the sea. An there do be a nice cache o rum.

O me pirate captain, him do appreciate the nice cache o rum! But me pirate captain, him do wish for more sustenance. After many a day o searchin, me pirate captain, him think him hear the sound o a cluckin chicken. Him's mouth do water for a taste o that chicken.



When me pirate captain, him find the source o the sound, it be no cluckin chicken. It be a parrot a'prancin about a'makin the cluckin sounds o a chicken. Me pirate captain, him tell that parrot "Stop ye cluckin an prancin about. Ye not be a chicken. Ye be a parrot. There be no cluckin chickens on this bloody island!"

The parrot, him ignore me pirate captain an him continue to prance about a'sayin "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I be a chicken. I be a chicken." Me pirate captain, him not believe how stupid this parrot be, so him repeat, "I say, ye stupid parrot, stop ye cluckin! Ye not be a chicken! Ye be a parrot! There be no cluckin chickens on this bloody island!"

The parrot, him ignore me pirate captain one more time an him again prance about a'sayin "Cluck, cluck, cluck, I be a chicken. I be a chicken." This time me pirate captain, him take out him saber an him say "I be rrrreally hungry for a taste o chicken. Me thinks me will eat this cluckin chicken!" The parrot, him fly away, but me pirate captain, him hear him parrot squawk as him fly out o sight: "I be a parrot! I be a parrot! There be no cluckin chickens on this bloody island! "

External Pirate Joke Links:

• Captain Scurvy's Pirate Jokes
• PirateJokes.net
• First Day As A Pirate